对我们许多人来说，那是我们刚成年时最好的时光. 但, 回忆美好时光, we may have also forgotten how lonely and isolating those first few weeks and months of college can feel, and how normal those feelings of sadness are for a first-year college student.
Whether you’ve experienced college yourself, sent an older child through school, or you’re a 第一次上大学的父母, today’s landscape makes the college experience unique to this generation of students. Attending college in the age of social media and in a post-Covid world has created a first-year experience unlike that which any of us have gone through before.
在孩子的一生中，大学是一段令人兴奋，有时又令人恐惧的时光. 最初的震惊 去上大学, 无论是进入新的班级还是搬到一个新的环境, 这对即将入学的一年级学生来说会有压力吗. Your support and encouragement are crucial to your child overcoming the initial stress of college life and getting to the good part. 为每个人缓解这种转变, we’re exploring five ways you can help and support your first-year college student.
虽然这个建议似乎违反直觉, we suggest you give your child some space during those first few weeks and months of college. Regular communication can help your child maintain a sense of stability and safety, 但当他们依赖你帮他们做日常小决定时, they don’t build the necessary skills and confidence to make more consequential decisions for themselves.
给孩子在校园里学习的空间, 弄清楚什么时候上饭, and navigate roommate issues on their own is important to building their independence as young adults.
Sandra Aamodt报道, 神经学家，本书的作者, “Welcome to Your Child’s Brain: How the Mind Grows from Conception to College,” the part of your child’s brain that helps them plan and organize their behavior is still developing at 17, 18, 进入大学时则是19岁. 在此期间, they should be practicing those skills by making decisions on their own that you would previously help them make.
学生在大学里面临的问题和挑战是教训 #成人 你的孩子应该逐渐开始自己解决这个问题.
- Remind them that you’re proud of them and trust them to make these decisions independently.
- 同情他们. 分享一个你遇到的类似问题的例子，以及你是如何解决的.
- Remind them that mistakes are powerful tools for learning, growing, and building their resilience.
大学刚开始的日子很难熬. Your child doesn’t know anyone; they’re away from home for the first time and are figuring out a new routine and schedule. These things are challenging on someone’s best day, let alone their first time living away from home.
Complicating those struggles are what your student sees on social media — friends and family sharing photos and videos of all the fun they are having back home. Your child might reach out to you and express negative emotions about their college experience, 让你觉得有必要去拯救他们. 想家是很正常的，在大学的第一年是很正常的, but saving your child by picking them up every weekend isn’t going to resolve that problem in the long term.
相反，试着鼓励你的孩子参加 校园活动 参加校园的传统活动. These activities can help your student feel more connected to the campus community and get out and meet new people.
你的孩子信任你，在很多事情上都向你寻求建议. When it comes time to choose a major, they will probably come to you for your thoughts. 对于你想让你的孩子学习什么，你可能有一些强烈的想法, 但影响他们的选择可能会产生意想不到的后果, 特别是当 选择职业.
Choosing their own areas of study is important to their success during and after college. Enjoyment and passion increase one’s likelihood of success in college and a future career. 朱迪Harackiewicz, 威斯康辛大学心理学教授, 对大学生的兴趣进行了长达七年的研究. She found that interest in a subject led to more positive outcomes and better predicted future choices than grades alone (source).
Having an interest in their major helps your child overcome the difficulties and obstacles they might face, 比如写十页的期中论文，或者参加期末考试. Being passionate about a subject helps your child persevere through the more challenging parts of college coursework.
虽然听起来很难, supporting your child at college means setting aside your dreams and goals for your child and encouraging them to explore their passions. College is the time and place for your child to do the work of figuring out who they are and who they want to be.
Leaving the comforts of home means your child will make decisions on their own in a new environment. 记得我们提到过他们的大脑还没有完全发育? 冲动控制是后期大脑发育的重要组成部分. Your child may find themselves in new and different situations where they need to make decisions to keep themselves safe.
Avoiding difficult topics during conversations might make everyone feel more comfortable, 但这是在伤害你的孩子. 谈论心理健康, 校园安全, 同意, and all the adult concepts that will likely come up at college that may not have yet come up at home.
正规的网赌平台 has a robust support network and a community of staff, 教师, 以及其他希望看到你的学生在大学茁壮成长的学生. If you ever feel like your child is experiencing more concerning feelings of depression and despair, 校园辅导员可以帮助处于困境中的学生.
不管你住在五分钟车程还是五小时车程之外, sending a care package is a great way to lift the spirits of your homesick college student. 装着他们最爱的零食的爱心包裹, 一些功能性的物品，比如洗漱用品, and perhaps a gift card for your child to treat themselves will be a welcome surprise. Adding a note requesting that your student share some of the goodies with other students can help your child foster new connections in their dorm and on campus.
The first year of college is filled with emotional ups and downs for you and your child. 最初的几周是最困难的, but they’re also the most important for your child to make themselves feel at home and connected to their campus community.